Jamie asked me last night at 3:17 am if I remembered being this tired with Natalie. I told him that we were 5 years YOUNGER then - and we were much more hyped up on adrenaline because we hadn't done it before. Now we know what to expect. . .which is very little sleep.
Time seems to be the main thing on my mind lately. My dear friend Johnna once shared about how in times of stress she tries to live life in small compartments - just focusing on making it through a short period instead of looking at the big picture. What wise, wise advice. . .why can't my mind work like that?
In the hospital there was a point when I said to myself (and a couple of very patient nurses) "well, that's it. . .i guess my baby will have to grow up in the nursery of CDH because we'll obviously never get out of here." Then when we got home and my blood pressure was still high I said "I guess I'll just have high blood pressure for life. I might never go back to work." Life seems to be passing at the speed of a sloth. The days seem to last a month. We are living in the every three hour eating cycle - which feels a bit like Groundhog Day.
I know it's only going to speed up from here though. I know that the every three hour eating pattern is only a very short season. I know that these little milk-drunk baby smiles will only last for what feels like the blink of an eye in the great scheme of life. So I'm trying to enjoy them while I can. I'm trying to tell myself that this is the last time I'll be up for 3:17 am feedings and these baby smiles are the last ones I will see, and I want to enjoy them while I can.
I keep telling Jamie that I need a watch that tells God Time. But I think what I really need is sleep.
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4 comments:
Wish we lived closer so we could help you. Ashley has been giving us updates. Looking forward to pics of Patrick. Praying for you guys.
Yes, sleep is the cure to all your troubles. Endurance, I think, is the only way forward. That's what I tell myself anyway...
I've been thinking of you a lot these past few days, not only because of Patrick but also because I've been trolling through the recipes you shared a few years ago. Yesterday we had your chicken, tomato, and feta pasta, and the day before that we had your black beans and rice. So good!! Rob didn't touch them, of course, but I very much enjoyed them. I'm sure if you'd made them he would've loved it all and raved about it for days. Anyway, I don't suppose you guys are doing much cooking these days. I remember when Elliot was a few weeks old and I moaned to you, "Will I ever have time to cook again??" And you assured me that I would. :) Love you guys!
I know just how you feel (about being sleep deprived)! We are continuing to pray for you! Do you need anything? Is there something we can do for you? Please let me know.
I love your blog posts.
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